County of Humboldt announces that local residents are too stupid to know where the ocean is

Holy moly! What with all of the serious issues pervading Humboldt County the last few years, we were beginning to wonder if our County Government is controlled by a bunch of idiots.

But, thankfully, it turns out that the people of Humboldt County are the stupid ones, rather than the County of Humboldt.

At least, that’s what occurred to us when we heard that the County of Humboldt is super excited about unveiling their new Tsunami Danger Zone App. (Turns out the signs posted all over the place, combined with tsunami alert systems, just aren’t enough.)

But…what could this sign possibly mean?

At long last, we can stop relying on the tried and true “oh shit, I’m close to the water and there was an earthquake, better get a move on” tactic that has served us remarkably well for generations.

You see, the County of Humboldt isn’t just saying that you’re too stupid to head for higher ground in the event of an earthquake, or that you can’t figure out where the ocean is – they’re assuming that you are probably so stupid that you won’t raise any questions about why the hell they’re wasting their time and resources on creating an app in the first place. (Quick reminder: their resources consist of your tax money.)

Of note from the County’s press release is this: “The app is still under development. The current version requires internet connectivity. In the future, it will be possible to download the map info and view at a later date without being online.”

We’re no technical wizards, but we’re pretty sure that the goal of downloading the maps for later use is a function that could have been accomplished without an app, right? As in, you can literally already do that by following a link on the current tsunami education website.

But why not waste time and money creating an app? Guess they just have too much time and money on their hands – we should remember that next time the County comes asking us for more.

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22 Responses to County of Humboldt announces that local residents are too stupid to know where the ocean is

  1. Helpless in Eureka says:

    How can we find out how much the Supervisors wasted on this stupid effort? If our staff have enough free time to come up with a lame idea like this it seems like we might be able to “retire” a few of them.

    Like

  2. Arcatan says:

    To be totally fair, most of our Supervisors could probably us an ap of some sort to be able to find the ocean. We might all be better of if they simply drove into it.

    Like

  3. You dumb dumb fuck. When will you realize that the tsunami zone isn’t just about a current emergency. Say you’re crossing around looking to buy some property, now you can quickly find out whether it’s in the tsunami zone using the gps, workout having to ask a realtor.

    Our community is one of the most prepared communities ING the state because we take proactive actions like this. Don’t be a dick and try to shit on other Peeples good, useful ideas. This one actually takes some brains, unlike this piss poor dumpster fire of a blog that literally anyone with access to a computer could do. You have brought exactly zero benefit to our community by starting this shithole website. Zero. How the fuck do you live with yourself?

    Like

    • Anonymous says:

      …….and now a word from our butt hurt County Tsunami Zone Department in a feeble and futile attempt to justify their existence.

      Like

    • Just Watchin says:

      Peeples? Spelchek tryed to change it to “people”, but I don’t wunt antibody thinking that ahm sum sort if more on!

      Like

      • Mac Towner says:

        Good catch. Now we know for sure that it was a County employee troll. Spelling ain’t the least of their challenges though.

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    • We never would have guessed that the reason for the County spending tax dollars on a Tsunami phone app was really to assist the real estate industry. We do wonder if any of the wizards in the Public Works Department bothered to ask anyone in real estate if a tsunami zone locator was the most important thing the County could do for them. We bet that it isn’t. Betcha that reducing regulation and clearing out some of the obstructionist asshole planners would be a little further up on the list.

      In answer to your question; We generally survive on a daily supply of Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Cheers!

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      • Who said anything about real estate u stupid fuck? This is about PEOPLE. PEOPLE who may not want to relocate to a tsunami zone. PEOPLE who may be wondering, hey, if me or my friends are in this area would we be at risk of being inundated by a tsunami wave? Raising people’s general awareness about safe zones is NEVER a bad thing. But u don’t know anything about raising people’s awareness, doyou?
        BTW, the people who came up with this app are the same people who came up with the signs you’re so fond of. I’d put my money with them over ur witless shit brain every day.

        You should stop blogging. You’re not helping anyone, even the real government watch dogs.

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      • Fed Up in Eureka says:

        Listen you ignorant, pompous, self-righteous, idiot. If your friends are so incredibly dense that they are unable to see the hundreds of signs that we paid to have installed on every other corner and hear the sirens that can wake the dead then I’m sorry Darwin wins. It is simply impossible for government to protect every single person from every single danger they might face. Should we take reasonable steps to protect the public? Absolutely, but there is a limit and with respect to the tsunami risk we passed that limit long ago. We have other risks that require attention too. It’s long past time that our elected officials used a little common sense with the taxes they are entrusted to spend. It’s bad enough that I’m forced to pay your exorbitant salary and that my children and grandchildren will be paying for your retirement benefits. At least do something with a little value while your collecting your government paycheck. Oh yeah, fuck you.

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  4. Uri Driscoll says:

    When was the last tsunami in Humboldt?

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    • Thanks for dropping by Polly!

      We suppose that your comment is meant to suggest that none of the destruction would have occurred if only Humboldt Public Works had been on the job. We call bullshit! We doubt that the trashed buildings could have run to higher ground. It is possible that some lives might have been saved if a person happened to be looking at the app just before the tsunami event happened. Of course this only applies to people who were too deaf, blind, or stupid to have seen the zillions of signs or heard the sirens.

      We’re sticking to this being yet another total waste of taxpayer dollars by our leaderless local bureaucrats.

      Cheers!

      Like

      • You are useless says:

        Hey, dipshit. The sirens don’t always work. And when they do, you may not even be in the area. They’re expensive and they’re only along the coast. Also, how long do you think it takes for a tsunami to strike? Minutes? No, you god damn shit for brains. It can take hours, depending on where the source is.

        Remember, you worthless, worthless, yellow tabloid, overflowing bag of runny dog shit of a blogger, after Sri Lanka, we had a good-sized earthquake here. People drove all the way to fucking Barry fucking Summit, and farther, because they were worried about a tsunami. Now though, it could be easier for people to quickly see whether they’re in a tsunami zone and how far they have to go to get outside of it. This link should be in news reports where the government says there may be a tsunami.

        Is it the end-all-be-all of tsunami preparedness. NOBODY SAID IT WAS. It’s yet another tool for PEOPLE to use to prepare.

        So, please day-drink so much of your hard lemonade that you ruin your already-shot memory and can never again log on to this blog and type another barely legible dumpster fire of a post.

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      • Useless,

        Totally hilarious! We’ve just realized that your comments were intended to be facetious. The sirens “are only along the coast”! Good thing too since tsunamis are generally unlikely in Redding. Too funny! Like people who are so stupid that they drive to Barry summit to get away from a tsunami could figure out an app anyway. We actually thought you were just another dense, money wasting, drain on society bureaucrat. You totally had us fooled.

        “It’s yet another tool for PEOPLE to use to prepare.” Ha Ha, like we need “yet another tool” on top of all the other waste of money tools we’ve already got. This app will undoubtedly make the difference where the sirens, radio and TV emergency announcements, police and fire, and a zillion signs have failed to protect us from something that happens like every thousand years. Seems like a better use of tax dollars might be an app to warn us of the inevitable North Korean amphibious attack on Old Town!

        Thanks for joining the party. We need more readers with great tongue in cheek humor like yours. Welcome! We would like to caution you about language. We don’t have a strict policy but potty mouths are discouraged. Thanks.

        Cheers!

        Like

      • Just Watchin says:

        I had to read it a second time to realize Useless was playing the jokester! He/she is really funny. I realize now that ” another tool for people to use” is a reference to Jon Yalcinkaya! TOO FUNNY….

        Like

    • Just Watchin says:

      Polly posts a link about a man dying. Him and some buddies went to the shore to take photos of the incoming tsunami. Darwinism at its finest.

      Like

  5. Rusty says:

    Driving along the coast the signs are a joke. Along the beach there’s a sign “entering tsunami zone” drive up a hill “leaving tsunami zone” back down “entering tsunami zone”. I’ll bet the tourist get a good laugh after the first couple of miles, I know I do. What’s next ? Signs for possible Earthquake​ Zones and there related magnitude intensity ? Tie it into a map app while you drive or hike to up your danger level. You can get the tee shirt, I survived a possible Earthquake and Tsunami # Humboldt.

    Like

    • the misadventures of bunjee says:

      Some of those entering/leaving signs are at sharp bends of the highway. Those become a liability if someone loses control because they were distracted by a sign that someone in authority felt it’s placement necessary. Don’t let potentially saving lives actually cost one!

      Truth is, we don’t need so damn many of the signs, except right at the beach where you’re 3 feet above sea level, but I guess road crews need jobs doing busy work too. In the even that there is a tsunami, nobody is getting anywhere fast on the roads, so you might as well run up hill until you can’t. ~TMOB

      Like

      • Duplicity says:

        Not the same tmob as formerly posting elsewhere. Lots of duplicate posters these days on only this blogsite.

        Like

  6. Autumn Cote says:

    Would you be OK if I cross-posted this article to WriterBeat.com? I’ll be sure to give you complete credit as the author. Therce is no fee; I’m simply trying to add more content diversity for our community and I liked what you wrote. If “OK” please let me know via email.

    Autumn
    AutumnCote@WriterBeat.com

    Like

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