Patrick Cleary makes stunning comeback to win Humboldt’s Biggest Asshole Award

Wow, THC fans! Talk about drama!

Just when reigning champion, Supervisor Ryan Sundberg, was poised to sweep the Biggest Asshole award for a second straight year, voting over the last two days of the poll drastically shifted to favor Patrick Cleary.

Who, we are pleased to announce, will be crowned as Humboldt’s Biggest Asshole; huzzah, Patrick! THC extends our congratulations to Cleary, who garnered his reputation as a massive asshole by subverting the mission of Humboldt Area Foundation in order to forward his own dystopian political agenda for Humboldt County.

clearyYou can see the full voting results at the end of the post, but first, take a look at the newly minted Donald A. Trump Trophy for Humboldt’s Biggest Asshole, which Cleary will call his own for a whole year.

gold_trophyAnd here’s a photo from the exclusive award ceremony:

d-man-business-man-holding-gold-trophy-cup-white-background-34925629We can all rest easy with the assurance that Humboldt’s #1 Asshole, Pat Cleary, will appear in next year’s competition. After claiming his prize and waving tearfully to all of the gathered children of Humboldt, who he has systematically deprived of opportunities by funneling money toward True North Organizing Network and his political machinations, Cleary vowed to remain in top asshole form throughout the rest of the year. It seems the work of a true asshole is never finished.

Amid rumors of scandal, THC is looking in to the voting trend that led to the last minute lead change, and so far signs point to a last-ditch get out the vote campaign on Facebook led by none other than Ryan Sundberg’s wife, who allegedly pleaded with Facebook friends and fans to ensure that someone other than her hubby be honored this year. (Unfortunately, THC has been denied by Sundberg and his wife, so we cannot verify the Facebook post. If you do have access to the post, go ahead and send us a picture!)

Anyhow, way to go, Ryan – it took some real gamesmanship and the dedicated work of your partner/campaign manager to avoid being called the biggest asshole around! You’re a lucky man!

You can see the full results of the competition below, and be sure to tune in next year for Humboldt’s Biggest Asshole of 2017!

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5 Responses to Patrick Cleary makes stunning comeback to win Humboldt’s Biggest Asshole Award

  1. O. Driftwood says:

    Tasteful headline…asshole.

    Like

  2. Ted G says:

    My write-in vote was for John Chiv

    Like

  3. John Chiv says:

    Patrick Cleary clearly deserves the trophy.

    Like

  4. daniel Edrich says:

    Patrick got my vote when he directed gifted monies to the greed-meisters
    known as Friends of the Dunes. When I showed Patrick the loss of fore-dunes, wildlife, wetlands
    and the reversal of a westward moving forest- ALL due to FODs illegal vegetation removal, he was non-plussed, with a “what do you expect me to do” attitude. I’ve known 3rd graders with keener senses of responsibility.

    Like

  5. Jayne says:

    Looks like he’s never missed a meal!!!!

    Like

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