BumCPR. Excuse us, HumCPR.
THC honestly can’t believe this is an article we are actually writing. But we are supremely grateful for the opportunity to use that wicked awesome pun. (Or whatever you call it.)
But seriously, what’s the catch? How did HumCPR, the shady, anti-government, anti-cooperation, anti-anything-that-doesn’t-benefit-the-wealthy-landowning-illuminati-of-Humboldt (according to the Honorable John Chiv), all of a sudden grow a soft spot for the homeless? This is like watching the Grinch’s heart grow in real time.
We’ve been relatively mum with regards to HumCPR, and their “nefarious” hijacking of local government, because they’ve been largely irrelevant over the past year and more. Do you know what they were doing before their homeless proposal? Neither do we.
Yeah, they’ve got a few folks sitting pretty in important government positions. (Big whoop – they’ve changed nothing.) THC is still waiting for all the McMansion’s to pop up in the forested TPZ hills as a result of HumCPR’s double agents controlling policy – then we can talk about how evil they are.
But back to the camp, another HumCPR dream destined to fail. THC has serious, serious doubts that putting a homeless camp in the middle of frickin’ Old Town is a good idea, let alone one that the business and landowners in the area are going to let fly. Unless they’re planning on turning the camp into a zoo for tourists to gawk at as they pass by. Of course, that’s assuming that tourism still exists in Old Town in a year. (Tourism, by the way, is possibly the only legitimate industry that is showing significant promise for the future right now.) You’d almost think that this idea was cooked up by the Workforce Development Board, or the Eureka’s Economic Development team – that’s how inept this idea is.
And where are all the normal HumCPR haters? LoCO? NCJ? Chiv? Plus, this goes against everything that the actual homeless advocacy groups have been trying to get done for ages. This camp won’t allow drugs and alcohol. How is AHHA letting this happen?
Hell, if those folks are too chicken to come out and say what they’re thinking, we sure will. There’s something fishy about this camp. We’re not quite sure what it is yet, but there has to be. New high rises going in at the Palco Marsh? Some devious ploy to lower City property values so a secret, privately-owned conglomerate can come in and buy up all the land? And take the children and women-folk too?
When we figure out just what it is that’s going on here, we’ll let you know. Meanwhile, keep your nose to the ground, gumshoes. We’ll get to the bottom of this.