Rob Holmlund, Eureka City Staff are dreaming about turning Eureka into Portland

Did you catch the LoCO post that explored the several options for development of the so-called “C 2 F” area of downtown Eureka?

They were all very interesting, and Rob Holmlund and the City of Eureka should warmly thank the person they gave a pack of colored pencils and a ruler to in order for the different plans to be drawn up. THC doesn’t lean terribly strongly towards any one of the options – which we’ll get into shortly – but thought some of the ideas were very avant-garde. Take Option A (below), for example. c2foptionAIs that…water? Next to water? Wow! What genius! Finally, a human sized bird bath for transients, smack-dab in glorious Old Town.

But we digress. The reason that THC doesn’t lean one way or another towards any of the options presented is because of one very simple reason: none of them will actually come to fruition!

While we feel that way about each and every one of those charette-spawned abominations of feckless public planning, THC cannot stress strongly enough that the multiple options that have significant stretches of green-space and water features are even more unrealistic than the rest!

Let’s be very honest about something. There is absolutely no room in the City of Eureka budget to fund park spaces like that. Hell, Eureka can barely keep their existing parks from all turning into the Devil’s Playground. (In an uncharacteristic act of forward-thinking, the City did use some of their Parks and Rec. funding to create a thorough-fare for Eureka High students to go straight from school to a fenced-in homeless haven, also known as Cooper’s Gulch.)

And there are no plans to attract people who would want to develop the other potential shops and buildings and infrastructure anyway. Ridiculous! As our friend Sammy would (and did!) say, these are all pipe dreams. Pretty pictures on pieces of paper meant to distract Humboldt from the real problems that Eureka is having, while trying to provide some justification that something productive is actually occurring.

Unfortunately, Holmlund and the City of Eureka are probably emboldened by the sentiments of people like this poor sap of a LoCO commenter:

Come to think of it, maybe Julian Hooligan Murillo was on to something – a “boardwalk with rides and what not” would bring the town of Eureka even closer to becoming what its City Government already is – a complete friggin’ circus.

Here are some further thoughts from perennial THC commenter Sammy on Holmlund’s Portland-ification of Eureka.

sammysnipAnd more still is the City of Eureka’s planning dufus, er, um Director trying to make old town look like Portland! Parklets my patootie. . . they will turn into pee/sleep/trick turn spots for the homeless at night. Question: whose Insurance is covering all of them? The business that they are in front of? Does it cover all of the predictable foreseeable issues some mentioned above? Does it cover the awful car crashing into folks going 20 + miles an hour? OR is that the City’s Insurance that is going to pay for those damages? Right where folks want and historically HAVE parked their cars. Yep, a Genius in his own mind that Rob Holmlund (ever watch him do a presentation at the podium as opposed to from his table? he constantly grinds his hips-GROSS) with the help of Sparky the Moron who is only here to retire on our dime.

And the food trucks idea…. DUDES we do have restaurants here that need our support or did you even know that???
And the Vacation rental idea. . . what about all of the folks that do NOT want to vacation on the city’s west side and would like to be on the east side or Lumbar hills? Do THOSE folks know this is coming to their neighborhoods? What about the hotels folks? Were they even NOTICED or CALLED?????

Really good investment in jobs guys —– NO, don’t work hard to build homes for families – working with the future residents to build them along with our MANY out of work residents. Don’t ask the others in the same or similar industries to see what ideas they may have or how they feel about it…

Here’s an idea, Hey ROB HOLMLUND, if you like Portland so much MOVE THERE! And Sparky, he needs to GO and NOW.

THC can’t speak to all of Sammy’s points, here. But you gotta love her fire.  And that she thinks the dumb asses that the City of Eureka are paying $$100-116k per year should just pack up and leave, because we’ll be damned if they’re doing us a lick of good.

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19 Responses to Rob Holmlund, Eureka City Staff are dreaming about turning Eureka into Portland

  1. NoBitch says:

    This website is such a joke. Bitch,bitch,bitch. You Bitch about developers, then bitch that nobody would have any money to develop a plan like this. WTF? Developers bring jobs and then you bitch that somebody needs to create jobs. You bitch about the cops, then you bitch about the homeless and crime problem. Offer a solution bitch!

    Like

  2. NoBitch says:

    Seriously bitch nutz! Draw your own conceptual vision of the waterfront. You take one out of six and ridicule it? You are not a smart person. You are a crabby bitch sitting on your jizz crusted laptop bitch ing and bitching and bitching. For real. You have no good ideas, no money, and no desire to do anything but rag on and on about your elected officials and how dumb they are. I’m pretty sure the author of this unsponsored blog is a fat, pony tailed chomo. Ha! Bitch!

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  3. Fogbound says:

    So your answer and solution to the wasted space that is out present waterfront is ………what? Your view is ……..do nothing because we can’t have nice things? You propose we ……sit on ours asses and just complain? Not much imagination on your part, just complaints; the easiest path.

    Like

    • ThisGuyHasJizzInButt says:

      I agree. Terrible website filled with gripping. The guy or gal or however it is has absolutely nothing positive to say or any solutions to his complaints. I think he works at the post office and is one fruit snack and one day away from ghating Arkley and Kurt Kramer. WTF!

      Like

  4. John Chiv says:

    So NB, Fogbound and TGHJIB, I take it none of your many personalities would like a THC basket of goodies.

    Thanks for the laughs.

    Like

  5. Arcatan says:

    Regrettably I have actually had a brief conversation with Mr. Holmlund. He is unquestionably the single most arrogant and pompous person I have ever met. He makes Donald Trump look as humble as Job. I’m not sure if his hiring was the mistake of the current City Manager Sparks or the prior one Panos but somebody owes the people of Eureka a huge apology, Makes me really glad to live in Arcata.

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  6. Marc Delany says:

    My development minded friends found Eureka Planning staff hostile and obstructive towards any develpment in this area that did not match an unreported plan…. A business that would support all of the current downtown businesses (an accounting and finance consultant, mom and pop shop), but not ‘tourist centered’…. denied. I wonder how many of the planners have planing degrees and certification…. Do people even know that planners are generally certified members of plannning associations? The lack of qualified professionals in the Eureka government shows. Mostly I see staff that have come up through the ranks, with no outside of HC experience, and no profesional degrees although they are paid as if they were. I am all for experiential education, but that should include journeyman experience, not all self taught in a single city. After 15 years in this type of position, generally the staff is scornful of the elected officials direction (lawful direction)….and consider a project area “theirs” (not ours). We have seen several examples of this, this past year. As a former grand jury member I assure you, this is something unique to this area, where more than 50% are employed in government. A minor fraction of that are elected into government, and a significant number of defeated officials continue to influence staff. When a currently seated elcted official asks staff to do something, and then staff does not do that or does the opposite of that… should they not be relieved of that responsibility??? On the spot???? I know, I’m old fashioned… I believe people are hired to do jobs that when they choose not to do them, they don’t actually get paid… It’s a construction thing… How carpenters get money… Build me a desk… “no, you needed 2 chairs… here they are, pay me”…. Your pay would be 1 chair on a good day. Yet I watch that happen over and over on local access. Sheeple… you are paying too much for things you did not want. IMHO.

    Like

    • Chaaarlee says:

      All too true! and not just at the city level. What is up with planning staff in this county? unfortunately accountability isn’t something you’ll find anywhere in humboldt gov’t. All the electeds are too pansy to put a stop to it

      Like

  7. William B says:

    Has anyone actually seen the new Parklet thing on E St.? They’ve got to be kidding! I’m not opposed to the idea but the one they put up looks like somebody left a pile of pallets in the middle of the street. Horrible! Perhaps Holmlund was going for a Devil’s Playground theme? Way to go Eureka. Create yet another eyesore in twerkerville.

    Like

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