If you guessed it was anyone but Virginia Bass’s husband Matt Owen, then you must be drunk. (We’ll give you a free pass if you guessed it was Estelle Fennell’s partner – they do live in SoHum, so we guess it’s an understandable mistake.)
If, however, you guessed that it is Humboldt’s reigning king of asshat-ery (our new favorite word, kudos to our friend/commenter Esther for reminding us of it), then congratulations! You may still be drunk, but at least you’re a smarty pants drunk.
You may recall we did a pretty enjoyable post about Humboldt’s resident political buffoon back in July. (Read it here.) Please note how incredibly far we have come in our photo-shop skills.
Indeed, you can go ahead and read the article Matt Owen just penned for The Emerald Magazine at their wonderfully green site. We advise against reading it in full, because it’s the holiday season and it’d be a bummer for your entire family if your head were to explode from sheer idiocy overdose before you could give them their presents.
Of course, we couldn’t help but skim some of Matt’s piece in the Emerald. Owen mostly talks about some b.s. involving branding his own ass with a marijuana leaf, or something along those lines, and how he had to get all tipsy off some sparkling pink wine in order to deal with the pain. Whatever.
But we were particularly interested when he ol’ Matty boy said: “Recently I picked up Luke, my SoHum friend and we drove down to the wine country to experience “branding.””
First off, we think it is in extremely poor taste to refer to his amigo as his “SoHum friend.” THC was certain that we had come far enough as a County to stop trivializing the good denizens of SoHum with such de-humanizing terms. Shame, Matthew, shame. Can you imagine how he speaks of the homeless, or all our Humboldt honeys?
Secondly, we just have to imagine that Matty’s “SoHum” friend must be none other than Luke Bruner, our ol’ CCVH pal. Remember how everyone was up in arms because Luke and CCVH were the total enemies of the County for that appalling marijuana ordinance they created? (Joke’s on you, Humboldt – your elected and appointed officials are f***ing it up even more!)
THC has it on good authority that Bruner approached Matt Owen with question’s about how to best craft a marijuana ordinance for Humboldt, and it would appear that Owen and Bruner have continued their blossoming friendship.
THC wonders if Bruner is invited to Christmas, and whether he’ll have even more chances to sway Virginia’s opinion towards the CCVH line of thinking ahead of all the discussions the Supervisors are having on the cannabis ordinance in the near future.
Mostly, though, we wonder when Matt will stop making such a darned fool of himself.