As first touched upon by good ol’ John Chiv, the Eureka City Council is set to consider an ordinance that would criminalize people for not having their guns – which are already stored in their homes or businesses – under a further layer of security by locking them up. This ordinance is supposedly designed to reduce instances of gun theft.
You can read the full ordinance here.
Now, before we dive right into this heaping pile of horseshit, we’d like to go on record by first saying: Are Mills and the Eureka Council f***ing crazy? Who in their right mind thinks it’s a good idea to criminalize people who get things stolen from them?
You’d think that Mills and Co. would figure out there’s something seriously wrong with an ordinance that penalizes people for owning guns that get stolen from them more harshly than the people actually stealing the weapons could be.
Now, THC doesn’t necessarily care where you stand on the greater issue of gun control, and we aren’t going to dive into that huge debate at this time. The fact of the matter is, whether you think it’s a good idea for newborns to leave the emergency room with a complimentary pistol or that all guns should be tossed into the fiery depths of Mordor, there’s just no reasonable way to stand behind inflicting jail time on law-abiding citizens in order to prevent another sector of potentially violent criminals from perpetrating crimes against those same innocent people. It just boggles the mind.
We particularly enjoy this screenshot from the EPD’s official blog:
We’d like to point out that, a.) this is a bullshit poll on a bullshit blog that nobody reads, and that b.) there’s no way in hell the EPD can seriously be considering using this poll to influence the decision-making process. (Also, c.) just because a gun is locked up does not mean that it cannot be left unattended – these things are not mutually exclusive. Locks are not babysitters, EPD.)
Anywho, semantics aside, if Mills or the EPD actually tries to cite this poll as evidence of support (or even a lack thereof) for the ordiance, we are going to offer the guitar-slinging houseless advocate from the past Eureka Council meeting a record deal with the sole aim of bombarding Mills and the Council with an endless stream of slightly-out-of-tune music vilifying them for being asshats.
At the end of the day,why is Mills trying to shift the blame for violent crime and thefts onto people who have absolutely nothing to do with it? It’s plain ludicrous, and reflects very poorly on Mills and the EPD in general. Who, though they have their faults, are generally legitimately trying to make positive changes in the City of Eureka.
It’s a shame that Mills and the EPD even brought this forward, let alone gave it serious thought. THC strongly encourages you to let the Eureka City Council know that passing this particular gun ordinance is just plain unacceptable.
Yes, also, Eureka is looking at passing some pretty stupid ordinances regarding nudity. That has received attention elsewhere, so we won’t go into it too deeply. However, we will say, that should you choose to party naked in Eureka (which is the best way, in our opinion), just be sure not to do so lewdly. It’s in poor taste.