County Counsel’s office gets Blancked

Phew!! We are back, THC fans. No, we were not lollygagging.

We were stuck in a tree. If only Fire Station 4 hadn’t gotten shut the heck down by those callous, inconsiderate Council members over at the City of Eureka, we might have been saved at an earlier date. Public safety straight down the toilet with nary a backwards glance from the cold-hearted likes of Brady and the Council’s harem master Frank Jager.


Me-ow! PSA, look out for that sex kitten!

Seriously, where were the PSO’s to stop such blatant treetop predation?

On a bright note, getting treed can lead to some seriously deep thinking, such as; “Does Matt Owen wax his whole body or just his eyebrows? (so smooth!)”, and “Are the recent accidents near Richardson Grove part of a nefarious Tea Party plot to sabotage our forests and clear the way for the tank battalions they’ve been hiding at Confusion Hill?” Just think, EPIC could turn Richardson Grove into their own Tiananmen Square! Imagine all the money they’d rake in for that lawsuit.

Thankfully, THC’s acorn-paste induced fever dreams eventually turned to focus on Humboldt’s new County Counsel, Jeffrey S. Blanck, and the bang-up unit he’s in charge of.

You see, way back in whenever the hell it was that the County realized Counsel fill-in Carolyn Ruth and would-be Counsel Davina Smith were bat-shit crazy and really, really sucked at their jobs, the Board of Stupdvisor’s wisely began looking for their new legal champion.

When we heard Jeffrey S. Blanck was our new Counsel, we did some snooping. At the time, THC figured what the heck, he’s got a cool goatee and he was a long time NAACP member. Great choice.

Jeffrey "M.F." Blanck and his goatee - in HD!

Jeffrey “M.F.” Blanck and his goatee – in HD!

But after further review, we were like, oh shit! One of the selling points on his professional website is that he ran a “full” office consisting of himself, a secretary, and a paralegal. That’s not alarming in and of itself – plenty of lawyers have small operations.

The major issue is that Humboldt County has one of the highest ratios of lawyers in the County Counsel’s office compared to total population in the whole state. It’s no surprise, really, considering how many freaking outrageous decisions that our County government makes. People are bound to sue. If I hadn’t spent all my money bribing the neighbor children to run and get help so I could get down from the tree, I’d sue em’ for something.

Given the amount of legal trouble the County gets itself into, THC is a little concerned about Mr. Blanck’s ability to run an office of over 11 attorneys and 17 total staff. There’s a lot of crap that gets piled onto the County Counsel’s department, and very high expectations for the position following the absolute mess that Carolyn Ruth created.

Blanck’s seeming inexperience managing department’s the size of Humboldt’s County Counsel office, combined with the fact that he spent much of his career working against public government agencies, rather than for them, is a red flag for us too.

All that’s not to say ol’ Jeffie ain’t gonna do a fine job – THC is rooting for him! Actively. Just please don’t be an idiot, Jeffrey, and don’t let the stupidity of other Humboldt officials rub off on you.


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9 Responses to County Counsel’s office gets Blancked

  1. Milldoin says:

    To bad Blanck can’t exocise Girard’s ghost from the General Plan. Until then, I am afraid the whole county will be up a tree without a paddle


  2. Sammy says:

    We are hoping Blank actually behaves like an attorney!

    *advise his clients during hearings if what they are doing could in anyway be wrong for their constituents and could expose the peeps (us) to lawsuits,

    *actually KNOW how to negotiate to SETTLE more potential suits (‘cuz that biaaatch in the ‘ol risk management office does not know whether to scratch her watch or wind her a_ _),

    *(and then our favorite): no matter WHAT the subject of the hearing have staff of ALL DEPARTMENTS cite the DATE of the staff report (somewhere, anywhere, please)and cite the legal authority of their arguments er, positions within their reports — you know, provide the name and section of the statute, or a case name,

    * and lastly; include the full statute language and PROMISE to not change any commas to periods and delete portions of the law they don’t like. Yeah CAROLYN RUTH we are talking about Y-O-U.

    Disbarment. Now there’s a word.


  3. Anonymous says:

    I know that Ruth is gone but also heard a rumor that Davina Smith is leaving the department too. If it’s true this would be a HUGE present to the people of Humboldt County. I’ve watched her on TV for years and seen the woman lie about the law, lie about policy, and simply make up anything she wants if it suits her agenda. I’m a former planner and had to keep my mouth shut but she is truly evil. Can anyone confirm that she’s is in fact out of here?


  4. Mac Towner says:

    Hopefully with a few changes in this department and a new person at the helm we will see the County getting in fewer lawsuits. They’ve been spending MILLIONS the past few years on stupid issues that weren’t worth fighting in the first place, all while raising OUR taxes. I noticed that the McKee suit just went another step forward. It appears that the County actually won this round. Of course they spent another $1,000,000 and will collect $200,000…..maybe. I’m sure they’re all gloating about their big win while we foot the bill for another round of stupidity. Just imagine how different their approach would be if it was their money instead of ours.


    • Cousin Eddie says:

      I’m still trying to figure out why the fuck that Tooby ranch thing is even going on? Dude screwed up, county screwed up. Put fork in it, it’s done.


      • Mac Towner says:

        It continues because no one has the good sense to say stop, enough already. Maybe with Davina Smith and Carolyn Ruth are gone our officials will start getting better advice and think about what they are fighting for rather than ‘winning’ at all costs. Personally I doubt it’s going to make a difference but we can hope.


  5. Just A Worker Bee says:

    What do you guys expect when you elect a Environmental Activist, a waitress, Native American Casino Bureaucrat, a Public Broadcaster, and a truck driver? None of these people except possibly Bohn has ever produced or managed ANYTHING beyond a hamburger. It shouldn’t be a surprise that we are in a financial disaster, these people a totally clueless and as soon as they are elected they become smarter that the people in our community who actually DO know something. They are GIANTS in their own minds and there’s no reason to pay attention to us little people… least until next election season.


  6. Debbie says:

    The County could have simply non-renewed the contract in 2002. Many of the buyers would have jumped through any hoops necessary to be allowed to stay in. The County had to make an example of McKee, so each side has spent millions for nothing. Thanks Co Counsel!


  7. Mac Towner says:

    I know one Supervisor who thinks the answer to losing too many lawsuits is to spend more taxpayer dollars for extra insurance to pay for all their losses. Seriously! The plan for making too many stupid decisions is to buy more insurance. Sometimes I think I live in Hooterville instead of McKinleyville.


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