Phew!! We are back, THC fans. No, we were not lollygagging.
We were stuck in a tree. If only Fire Station 4 hadn’t gotten shut the heck down by those callous, inconsiderate Council members over at the City of Eureka, we might have been saved at an earlier date. Public safety straight down the toilet with nary a backwards glance from the cold-hearted likes of Brady and the Council’s harem master Frank Jager.
Seriously, where were the PSO’s to stop such blatant treetop predation?
On a bright note, getting treed can lead to some seriously deep thinking, such as; “Does Matt Owen wax his whole body or just his eyebrows? (so smooth!)”, and “Are the recent accidents near Richardson Grove part of a nefarious Tea Party plot to sabotage our forests and clear the way for the tank battalions they’ve been hiding at Confusion Hill?” Just think, EPIC could turn Richardson Grove into their own Tiananmen Square! Imagine all the money they’d rake in for that lawsuit.
Thankfully, THC’s acorn-paste induced fever dreams eventually turned to focus on Humboldt’s new County Counsel, Jeffrey S. Blanck, and the bang-up unit he’s in charge of.
You see, way back in whenever the hell it was that the County realized Counsel fill-in Carolyn Ruth and would-be Counsel Davina Smith were bat-shit crazy and really, really sucked at their jobs, the Board of Stupdvisor’s wisely began looking for their new legal champion.
When we heard Jeffrey S. Blanck was our new Counsel, we did some snooping. At the time, THC figured what the heck, he’s got a cool goatee and he was a long time NAACP member. Great choice.
But after further review, we were like, oh shit! One of the selling points on his professional website is that he ran a “full” office consisting of himself, a secretary, and a paralegal. That’s not alarming in and of itself – plenty of lawyers have small operations.
The major issue is that Humboldt County has one of the highest ratios of lawyers in the County Counsel’s office compared to total population in the whole state. It’s no surprise, really, considering how many freaking outrageous decisions that our County government makes. People are bound to sue. If I hadn’t spent all my money bribing the neighbor children to run and get help so I could get down from the tree, I’d sue em’ for something.
Given the amount of legal trouble the County gets itself into, THC is a little concerned about Mr. Blanck’s ability to run an office of over 11 attorneys and 17 total staff. There’s a lot of crap that gets piled onto the County Counsel’s department, and very high expectations for the position following the absolute mess that Carolyn Ruth created.
Blanck’s seeming inexperience managing department’s the size of Humboldt’s County Counsel office, combined with the fact that he spent much of his career working against public government agencies, rather than for them, is a red flag for us too.
All that’s not to say ol’ Jeffie ain’t gonna do a fine job – THC is rooting for him! Actively. Just please don’t be an idiot, Jeffrey, and don’t let the stupidity of other Humboldt officials rub off on you.